"Encouragement To

Single Fathers"

Alpha Nickelberry

About 4 years ago I was on a long distance phone call with my son, who was 12 years old at the time. I was living in Florida; he was in St. Louis. We were having one of our typical father/son conversations, but then he asked me a question that to this day overwhelms me that at his age, he had the courage to ask.

He asked me if I would consider moving back to St. Louis so that he could be close to me all the time. He said he was ok with me coming to visit him the way I was, but that he felt like he needed me more than ever and more consistently than ever. When he asked me this, all I could think to myself was “how in the world could I tell my only biological son no, if he’s ASKING me to be a GREATER part of his life?”

Now, just to be COMPLETELY transparent, I have always been financially involved in my sons' life, but I STRUGGLED when it came to being physically involved and devoting the necessary time and attention to him AND I DID NOT want to move back to St. Louis. Nothing against the city I grew up in, but I grew to love the Florida sunshine, being just a few minutes away from the beach, and I was serving in full time ministry, which was something that I always wanted to do and enjoyed it. But when I thought about the fact that a 12 year old had the courage and boldness to ask me that question, my response was simply “yes.”

When I first moved back to St. Louis, the adjustment wasn’t easy.

I missed Florida, the ministry I served/worked for, and the friends I made during the time I was there. But I constantly reminded myself that the purpose of my move was not for me, it was for my son. Fast forward to today, and I can truthfully say the move I was nervous about making has gone incredibly well. Through doing what was best for my son and honoring his request, so many areas of my life have been blessed and restored in ways that I couldn’t have really imagined at the time I made the transition back home. And maybe most importantly, my passion to be the best all around father I can be is one of the driving forces in my life.

Here’s the encouragement I want to give to anyone that reads this, especially young, single fathers:  We all have tough choices to make when it comes to the things we want to do in life whether they be professional, personal, relational, etc. But I truly believe when we as men focus on honoring the commitment of being there and taking care of our SEEDS in every way that we possibly can, God will take care of those things that we desire for Him to do for us and He will open the necessary doors for us to be successful.