"Why Did I Get Married? Part One"
Pastor Fredrick Lemons II & Lady Cathryn Lemons

Session 1:  Marriage as a Divine Covenant

Let me ask you something: Why did you get married? Maybe it was love at first sight. Could it have been the emotional connection you felt, a bond so strong you knew you couldn’t live without this person? Or maybe it was the idea of building a life together, sharing dreams and challenges along the way. Whatever your reason, one thing is certain: marriage is far more than a contract, a romantic arrangement, or entanglement. Marriage is a divine covenant, a sacred promise between you, your spouse, and God.

From the very beginning, God established marriage as a covenant. Genesis 2:24 tells us, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This is not just a poetic sentiment. It is a foundational truth about the unity, commitment, and sacredness of marriage. It’s no coincidence that Scripture compares marriage to the relationship between Christ and the Church. In Ephesians 5:25-32, Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This love is sacrificial, selfless, and unwavering.

But what does it mean for marriage to be a covenant? Unlike a contract, which is based on conditions and can be broken, a covenant is unconditional and everlasting. A contract says, “I will hold up my end of the deal as long as you hold up yours.” A covenant says, “I am committed to you, no matter what.” Malachi 2:14 calls marriage a “covenant of companionship,” emphasizing that it is not only a legal union but also a spiritual partnership. When you stood at the altar and said, “I do,” you weren’t just making a promise to your spouse. You were making a vow before God, a vow to love, honor, and cherish this person through every season of life.

Understanding marriage as a covenant changes everything. It shifts the focus from “What can I get out of this?” to “What can I give?” It reminds us that marriage is not about personal fulfillment but about reflecting God’s glory. It challenges us to love sacrificially, forgive readily, and serve faithfully, even when it’s hard. When we see marriage as a covenant, we realize that our commitment is not dependent on feelings or circumstances. It is rooted in the unchanging character of God, who is the ultimate example of covenant love.

Of course, this doesn’t mean marriage is easy. There will be seasons of struggle, times when you feel like giving up. But it is in these moments that the covenant becomes most powerful. It reminds us that our vows are not just for the good times but also for the hard times. It reminds us that love is not just an emotion but a choice. It’s a choice to stay, to fight, to grow, and to trust God’s plan.

Think about the story of Hosea and Gomer in the Old Testament. God tells Hosea to marry Gomer, a woman who is unfaithful to him, as a living illustration of His covenant love for Israel. Despite Gomer’s infidelity, Hosea continues to love her, redeem her, and bring her back into his home. This story is a powerful reminder that covenant love is not based on merit. It is based on grace. In the same way, God calls us to extend grace to our spouses, to love them not because they are perfect but because we are committed to them.

But what does this look like in practical terms? It simply means making God the center of your marriage. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” When God is the third strand in your marriage, He strengthens your bond and helps you weather any storm. Second, it means prioritizing your spouse above all other relationships. This includes your parents, friends, and even your children. Genesis 2:24 reminds us that marriage requires leaving and cleaving—leaving behind old priorities and cleaving to your spouse as your primary partners in life.

So let me ask you again: Why did you get married? Was it to fulfill your desires, or was it to honor God’s design? Was it for convenience, or was it for covenant? My prayer is that as you reflect on these questions, you will gain a greater understanding of God’s purpose for your marriage. Don’t see it as a contract to be maintained but as a covenant to be cherished. 

Marriage is not always easy, but it is always worth it. When you view it through the lens of covenant, you begin to see that it is not just about you and your spouse. It is about reflecting the glory of God. It is about showing the world what His love looks like. 

And that, family, is why you got married.

The St. John Missionary Baptist Church Covenant couple’s ministry seeks to help couples build a strong foundation through Christ and provides guidance instruction and biblical insights for Christian couples.